I thank God in heaven that I never joined Kimkins, never followed Kimmer, never thought she was my friend, never believed she held the answer to my years long struggle with weight and eating issues. I never experienced the friendship - well, it appeared to be friendship. That sounds so odd, knowing that Kimmer never really existed. The betrayal that must come from knowing that someone you "talked" to every single day turned out to be nothing more than the seed flower of a dandelion that blows away with a strong wind. No, worse than that. Turned out to be an evil spirited sociopath who reveled in the struggling you endured trying to be all that she led you to believe she was.
I never experienced the camaraderie of the forums on the Kimkins board. Never grew those particular friendships. Never shared my secrets, my hopes, my fears, my failures and my successes with that particular group of people - only to have them willing to trade what I valued so highly - our friendship - for another lost pound on the scale because they weren't or aren't ready to accept that they, too, fell prey to this monster.
I've watched many people I've come to know, respect and care for walk through the normal grieving process, working hard to stand back up and believe once again that they CAN succeed, CAN trust, that it IS worth it.
I don't know if Heidi reads my blog or not. I truly don't believe she has a conscious to prick. She likely won't "get" this. But to those of you who have been harmed through this, I hope, if you aren't there already, that you are close to being able to let go of the dream of what it never really was but should have been, and embrace your today with hope, peace and surrounded by love.