The Tale of Three Posters

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way." Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

Sorry, wrong story. But very apropos for Heidi I think.

This is a different story, however.

What do these three posters have in common? As we start in to this, please know that these quotes are all screen shot, and all claims that I will make have been checked, verified, and confirmed. These quotes date from 2004 until the present, and are not necessarily presented here in sequential order, though the sequence is fairly accurate.

Oh, and I will also add that this was a collaborative effort. My co-conspirators have requested that they remain unnamed for now, as they are working on wrapping up some other nice little packages.

Poster A: “My Hero has a face!!.. wow.. you are gorgeous .. thank you for all your wise words on here... as I have said many times before.. you were my inspiration.... 70 plus down... and moving on!...”

Poster B: “Great job on the weight loss! Now would it surprise you to know that I am pretending to be one of your little duckie friends on those threads? Try and guess which one.
I don’t think you can but if you do, I will admit to it to you.”

Poster C: “I have been following these threads for months and months. Never tried KK, I like food :) I did however, find this site through a search back in May or June. Stumbled upon KK, and the rest is many many hours of reading.

I follow Weight Watchers for now, because I was missing my fruits and lots of veges on Atkins. Love Atkins to death, just needed a change.”

Poster C: “I have been doing so much research on her since I stumbled upon these threads, that I am sure I have seen this picture posted somewhere before.

I am simply a very curious person, and this does intrigue me. Could be Jill, or could be Heidi.”

Poster C: “From my personal conversations via another board, I think she actually was one of Kimmer's personalities. ( Fawn that is)

AmyB, I would love to talk to you about some things, I will look for your email address on your blog. Thank you.”

Poster C: “I also noticed, she would be talking along totally out of the FAWN character, then realize that , and add in a few hugggiesssssssss etc. to bring FAWN back. It was bizarre at times.”

Poster B: “Jill, as for your comment on my all mighty diet guru, I have never thought that she was a diet guru, and never will. I liked the idea of lower fat low carb, and she was always gracious to me at LCF and at Kimkins. I have no beef with her at all, yet she is not a guru to me or anyone I know. “

Poster B: “You folks keep calling me a Kimmer supporter, like that is a bad word too. I believe I have said many times that I support the site, the plan and that she has always been gracious and kind to me, through PM’s and in posts. “

Poster B: “I am very much in support of him, and have told him that.”

Poster A: “Congrats Derek! You have done a fantastic job with your loss and have kept it off! You look GREAT!!”

Poster A can be found on LCF as well as on Kimkins.con.
Poster B can be found on 2Bigformysize’s blog.
Poster C can be found on LCF.

And they ALL share an identical IP address. That IP address isn't anything ambiguous, such as AOL or Comcast. They all belong to a well known facility in Missouri. I'll leave it like that. Like I said, this has been confirmed, checked and verified. Oh, this may pose a bit of a problem for Posters A and C, don’t you think?

Poster C, who posed as a like-minded individual on the FWK threads is also known as Ginastevens34.

Poster B, is, of course, DANA.

Poster A is, as may have already guessed, Deb294evr on Kimkins.con, as well as on Low Carb Friends.

If anyone has been trading PM’s with Gina, know that you have inadvertently been feeding a pipeline directly to Heidi.

Deb, I wonder just how Heidi feels reading some of the comments you made about her on the FWK threads as Gina? Think she likes the fact that you talked about her slipping in and out of her Fawn character? Think she likes the fact that you have made it clear that your loyalty is to her site, but not to her personally?

Think she likes the fact that you were really quite easy to track down? Think she might be wondering just who else we have identified?

Have a great month, Heidi. I’m sure we’ll be seeing YOU soon ;)

Disturb the Sound of Silence

Silence is golden. Or is it? When a society stays silent in the face of wrong, bad things happen. Consider the Holocaust. Millions of people murdered. Billions turned a blind eye. If you asked those people if they agreed with the philosophies and actions of Adolf Hitler and the Third Reich, most would have said no. So, why did they stay silent? To keep their own peace. To keep the ugliness of what was happening there from spilling over into their space. They took the position that it wasn’t their fight. It wasn’t their business. They didn’t want to hear about it, and they certainly felt no responsibility to stop it.

Oh, they vow NOW never to forget. They vow NOW never again. But it is simply too late for those millions of people who paid with their lives – slow and painful deaths in many cases – who watched as their loved ones died, while people remained silent.

Silence in the face of wrong behavior is detrimental on much smaller scales, as well. Consider the matter of incest, or if that offends our senses, an alcoholic parent, someone in a family suffering from an eating disorder, or perhaps someone with a violent temper. There is a stated or unstated agreement that this is private family business and not to be spoken of in public. Too often, though, it also isn’t talked about in private, within the family. The offended feels invalidated, while the offender feels empowered. There are no consequences for their behavior, so why should they not continue? Those who are remiss to speak out actually enable the behavior by creating an environment where these actions can continue. And so they do continue. The consequences play out in the lives of the individuals involved in a variety of ways. The directly offended may become isolated and withdrawn, develop their own inappropriate behaviors as a way of coping or lashing out, or, at the least, it may hinder their ability to develop healthy relationships outside the bounds of the walls holding in their pain. The bystanders don’t learn proper coping skills. They often feel guilt for not intervening, but may not feel that guilt or express their remorse until the situation has spiraled out of control for either the offended or the offender – or both. They wait until they no longer have the ability to do anything about the situation. Ironically, they also often become champions for outside causes, defenders of the underdog, or those unable to speak for themselves, even becoming involved in preventing the same behavior that has found residence within their own family. The offender, not having learned that certain behaviors are unacceptable will continue, often escalating thus giving themselves even more grandiose feelings of power – both imaginary and real, as they master the art of manipulation utilizing their weapon of choice. In the case of eating disorders and other self destructive behaviors, the consequences for the offender can be life long struggles and ultimately early death.

Silence can also be destructive to other types of group dynamics. Consider these quotes from Eviatar Zerubavel in his book, The Elephant in the Room:

“Silence, as the saying goes, is consent. By remaining silent about wrong behavior we normalize it, essentially enhancing its perpetuation by implicitly encouraging potential offenders to regard it as morally acceptable.”

“By enabling such collective denial, conspiracies of silence prevent us from confronting, and consequently solving, our problems…”

“Co-ignoring the elephant in the room requires a major collaborative effort on everyone’s part and is therefore socially exhausting. Not surprisingly, it can also generate a lot of tension. Indeed, the thicker the silence, the deeper the tension that builds around it.”

“Thus, ironically, partly in an effort to preserve group solidarity, conspiracies of silence often undermine that very solidarity by impending the development of honest, trusting relations that presupposes open communication. Indeed, in an attempt to “protect” groups, they often make them become somewhat dysfunctional.”




Hmm. The elephant in the room …

A perfect analogy for what is – or rather what is not happening in the anti-KK community right now. There is a member of that group who has once again contacted others with the intent of riling emotions and stirring up discontent directed at one or more other members of the group. It has been brought to our attention. It has been documented and her behavior has been publicly challenged. Yet the group remains silent, ignoring the elephant in the room. It certainly isn’t a lack of awareness. The hundreds of hits to my blog attest to the that. Solidarity is being damaged, not by the open charge of misconduct as some would claim, rather by a willingness to sacrifice that solidarity and trust by allowing this misconduct to continue unchecked and without confrontation.

It is like hearing the banging of the headboard and muffled cries behind the closed door, yet rolling over in your own bed, burying your head in the pillow to muffle the sounds so you can get to sleep, undisturbed.

Honestly, I simply don’t understand this. It really seems that people are willing to sacrifice the one (or the few) in order to keep peace in their own little space. What happens when they come for you?

Yucky, I feel so very bad that you seem to have been deemed to be an acceptable target. You say it doesn’t matter, but I know better. It matters, because YOU matter.

Silence like a cancer grows …


(edited to add: You, as an individual, know if this applies to you. If it doesn't, it doesn't. If you aren't sure, ask an objective friend.)

Same Song, Second Verse, A Little Bit Louder and A Little Bit Worse

What a fun camp song that is ... Same song, second verse ... a little bit louder and a little bit worse. Not so fun in this instance, though.

Remember this post? I truly thought that Mayberryfan had learned and grown from that experience. I thought wrong.

I would like to challenge this statement you made, Mayberryfan, on the Fascination with Kimmer thread at Low Carb Friends:
"I decided to poke a little fun at my blog because this fiasco reminds me of someone we all know. However, I didn't accuse anyone."

First of all, I hardly call your blog post "poking a little fun". I'm really sure that the comment you posted to that same post - you know, the one addressed to Ellen - was not meant as fun at all. You know the one where she said she didn't understand the double talk and innuendo. To refresh your memory, here is your reply in its entirety: "I suspect you're well aware of what's going on, "ellen". In any case, we can agree on one thing - this is worse than high school.

May I suggest you get your head out of your locker, then and keep up?"

I take it you didn't believe her name is Ellen. That wasn't just poking a little fun, was it.

Before I cover this next point, I'd like to address Jo. Jo, I hear you are unhappy with having your name attached to any of this. I will say in going back and reading the sequence of the posts on the FWK thread that you were the first to respond to Jill with a comment assuring her "we" knew it wasn't her. For the record, the only reason I mentioned you at all was that you were, in fact, the first person to reassure Jill that "we" knew she hadn't done it. I also allowed my past experiences to color my judgment. In fairness to you, there is no reason for me or anyone else to draw the conclusion that you were speaking for anyone other than yourself, nor attribute any more or any less meaning to that statement than can be attributed to most of those who penned similar sentiments. I sincerely apologize for making an inference that has no basis in fact.

I do, however, want to address the complaint that has been passed on to me that you resent being associated with trouble, particularly trouble that involves YustYucky. There are reasons for that, and one of those reasons is as Mayberryfan stated: guilt by association. It is true that we are known by the company we keep. I could say more about this, but I will only say that Jo, from this preachy blogger's point of view, if you don't want to be associated with attempting to stir up trouble, refrain from making disparaging remarks about people to others. The Internet walls have ears and those remarks have a way of coming full circle.

Speaking of making disparaging remarks, back to Mayberryfan. The second part of your statement, "However, I didn't accuse anyone." deserves a closer look. I guess the best way I can say this is you are, my dear, a liar.

Did you or did you not say the words, "When I first saw the controversy, I knew Yucky had done this and so did the other LCF'ers who gather at my forum. NO DOUBT. " (See that guilt by association thing, Jo?)

Like I said - same song, second verse. A little bit louder and a little bit worse.

Do I think you were the original anonymous poster on Nancy's blog? Don't know. Do I believe you were the anonymous poster who claimed to be a "paid sleuth"? Don't know that either - but whoever that is would be working for Heidi. She's the only one hiring. At the very least you have made a very concerted effort to arouse the passions of the anti-KK community against Yucky. After what you tried to pull with Trista, and after finding you doing the very same thing in this instance, I would not be the least bit surprised to discover that you have orchestrated this entire charade. What I am surprised about is how deft you are at pulling this bs behind the scenes while loudly declaring your innocence out for all to hear.

Let's hope there isn't Same song, third verse ...